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ARTICLE: Being at Peace with Your Stubborn Teenage Children- It’s possible

Teenage is a period of severe storm and stress. Those eminent years
of one’s life tend to witness the maximum amount of turbulence and
upheavals, which are often difficult to pacify with compassionate words
and actions. This period of transition into adulthood can leave an
extremely traumatic impact on the tender mind of teens, fuelled by the
sudden growth spurt and the onset of psychological changes which give
rise to frequent mood swings. The rebellious instincts of teens and
their growing need for privacy, often lead to rifts in the parent-child
relationship. The teenage years test one’s parenting skills the most,
but with unconditional love and a little bit of tactfulness, one can
easily tide over the crisis. As parents, try implementing these simple
strategies to get closer to their hearts, and restore peace at home.
Keeping the doors open
Communication is the keyword in bridging the mental distance between
you and your teenage children. The channels of communication need to be
kept open at all times. A teenager might not always be comfortable with
the idea of expressing his or her thoughts verbally. Hence, it is really
important for you to try reading between the lines, and keenly
observing their body language and gestures. Encouraging them to open up
to you, discuss about the day spent with buddies, share their personal
opinions on various issues would help them connect deeper with you.
Being a patient listener would make them feel at ease when you are
For a sense of belonging
Instead of giving them strict commands in an authoritative tone, try
to involve them in various household activities in a friendly manner.
Teenage children love to keep the doors of their rooms shuts, and do not
want to be bothered. Since they dwell in their own world most of the
time, they hardly have time to take proper notice of the responsibly
which require to be fulfilled at home. Washing dishes together or
putting in joint efforts for spring cleaning will increase a sense of
belonging, and give them an idea about the time and labor that goes into
maintaining the house.
Sweating out together
Most teenage children are really enthusiastic about hitting the gym,
and working out on a regular basis to stay in shape. Increasing
consciousness about their developing physical features, desire to appear
more attractive to members of the opposite sex, and idolizing
celebrities of the tinsel town are the main grounds of motivation behind
striving to attain the ‘perfect’ figure. You can join your children
during their workout sessions and have a fun time sweating it out
together. This will not only yield numerous health benefits, but also
ensure that some quality time is spent together. Shove your inhibitions
aside and simply indulge in a game of basketball or tennis with your
children in the backyard.
Flexibility is the word
Remembering to take your teenage children out for movies of their
choice, or treats at their favorite pizza joint once a week, are sure
shot ways of filling the void. Instead of imposing your choice all the
time, sacrificing a little on your part to accommodate their preferences
won’t hurt much. Rather due to this flexibility, your children will
start looking upon you as a trustworthy friend with whom they can share
their deepest thoughts. Spare some time from your hectic schedule to
attend their performances and functions. The very fact that you stepped
out of office early to watch your son play for his school team, would
make him beam with pride and elation!
Cherishing shared moments
Taking your teenage children for a long drive every now and then is a
wonderful way of spending some quality time together. Planning family
vacations and camp stays are really exciting breaks for teenagers from
their school projects and homework, and they return home absolutely
refreshed and rejuvenated. Paying attention to their suggestions
regarding the best location hotels,
holiday destination, meals, sightseeing and budget management will not
allow them to feel lonely or alienated and they would look forward to
travelling more with family. Teenagers find it really difficult to
survive without their closest friends. In that case, you could also
permit your child to bring his/her best friend to tag along during the
Chucking out comparison
One of the biggest parenting blunders, which is tragically too
common, is the practice of drawing comparisons. There is no better way
of ruining your child’s self-esteem and levels of confidence than this
useless habit. Be prepared for acidic reactions and violent temper
tantrums every single time, when you question your child’s abilities and
compare him or her with classmates, siblings, or the children of
neighbors. No one is perfect by birth. And no two people are born to be
the same. Learn to respect your child as an individual with a unique set
of characteristic traits and capabilities. Sowing the seeds of
frustration in their minds can lead to disastrous consequences.
Conveying deep emotions
All parents love their children unconditionally. The mode of
expression might vary from person to person, but the underlying emotions
are the same. Teenage children often need to be reassured about their
worth in your life, and a little display of affection is required on
your part to make them feel the love. Giving them tight hugs when they
encounter their first heartbreak, or gentle kisses when they are
expecting it the least, would strengthen the bond. Instead of delivering
boring lectures to reluctant teens, try to set an example. Always be
willing to learn new things. Let your child assume the role of a teacher
and guide you regarding the latest gadgets or social networking
Dealing with teenage children at home often turns out to be a
nightmarish plight for parents, who seem to be utterly confused, and are
unable to cope with the random changes in the behavior of their
children from time to time. Parents must never forget the fact that
every individual, including themselves, have gone through these trying
times, and their child is no exception.
 Teenage obstinacy is a mere
passing phase which paves the path for developing into a full-fledged
matured adult, and leaves behind nothing but some vivid memories.
Comprehending these simple facts from the core of your heart, would
surely sweeten as well as deepen the beautiful, soulful bond between
parents and their children.
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